yesterdae me n dear quarrel again... perhaps it is because i'm too childish or too unreasonable... but then things may not always be wat it seens on the surface...

when he told me that his feelin had faded a bit, i almost cry... told myself nt to... cause i'm still in the office... dun wanna make my frens worry... most of all is i dun wan to let them noe abt the situation... i'm ashame of myself for all the things i did... this is the first time i'm feelin this way... the tears only start to flow down when i'm in the comfort of my bed... did he noe?? no...

wat was i thinkin??? no idea... was thinkin abt the times i spent wif wx... the happy times... was blaming myself for spoiling everything... felt like i'm the most worthless ger in the world... i can't shift the fault to james... even though he is the main cause... but then i'm the one that make the decision of tellin wx abt my feelin... i'm the one that wanna still has feelin for him... i'm the bitch...

now, i starting to put in everythin into this relationship... but things like too late le... when i become serious in a guy... i start to becum over protective, over controltive... over little things i will get angry or jealous... that's me.. i dun noe how to change that... hai~

yesterdae on the bus... i was cryin... but wx is jus rite beside me... did he realise??? he didn't... he was busy playin his game n pickin his call... why did i cry?? yesterdae the feelin was so cold... my heart was freezin... felt so empty n lonely... like i was all alone in the world again... wat i wan wasn't the word sorry... was for he to coax me.. i'm a ger afterall... one year plus together, but he dun noe how to coax me... i'm only 18... juz a small ger...

wat if this relationship doesn't workout?? wat if we end up breakin.... i feel like cryin now... but i can't... i cried this mornin... i didn't sleep last nite... couldn't force myself to sleep... my dreams juz refuse to appear... lolx... i'm one idiot...

things are gettin so sad now... my world is becomin black and grey... so colourless... wat's the difference for me now w or w/o a bf?? got bf like dun have like that...

whenever we quarrel... frens of mine always stood by him... always askin me to cherish... hui ting was rite... how many of u will ask him to cherish me??? doubt any of u will.. i dun wanna continue to blog le... i dun wanna cry... ciao~
Blogged @ 8:30 AM
Don't let me go -